Mr Carson's angel
by Chelsieobsessed1980
Summary: Elsie is considering a marriage to Joe Burns, she has to make a decision. There are many pros and cons, but the certain butler will help her to make her mind, without even knowing that he did ;-)


MR CARSON'S ANGEL

**Hello Chelsie team. As I'm rewatching DA series (again) now and because of episode 4, season 1- when Elsie was considering a marriage to Joe Burns, the new idea appeared in my head. Even though not all the Chelsie fans will agree, I'm going to stick to my version-that Charles and Elsie were already in love then(in the first season). During their conversation about her possible marriage, I couldn't help but noticing the expression of Charles's eyes when she tells him that Joe proposed to her and he asks-"And he proposed again and you accepted?" There was so much fear and uncertainity in his eyes, as he was terrified that he might loose her. So this became an inspiration for me to write this one-shot.**

**Summary: Elsie is considering a marriage to Joe Burns, she has to make a decision. There are many pros and cons, but the certain butler will help her to make her mind, without even knowing that he did ;-)**

**Legal note: Charles and Elsie are still not mine and they never will be, although I give them a lot more fun than DA script did.**

Elsie had been anxious ever since the fair and her meeting with Joe. When she agreed to meet him, she suspected that he might propose to her again, but she managed to push this thought to the back of her mind, because she didn't want to think about that. Right now she had to deal with reality. He'd asked her to become his wife again and he was waiting for her answer. She'd been struggling with her thoughts for two days now. What was the right choice?What kind of decision should she make?There were so many different factors involved, first of all her career-here she knew where she was standing, on a solid ground. She was the housekeeper of a grand mansion. It was the job she earned all by herself with years of hard work. Struggling, day by day. Being very down to earth, Elsie never devoted much time to self praise, but she knew that her current position was something that she owed to herself, a reward for all of her hard years of working from dusk till dawn. She liked and respected the family-the Crawleys, and she was in turn respected by them. Of course she didn't worship them like Mr Carson, but she appreciated the fact that they were such good and kind employers. She was happy about her work colleagues, the downstairs team always worked swiftly and effectively and it was good to be around them, even though her superior position to most of the staf, prevented Elsie from being too familiar with them, with the possible exception of Mrs Patmore, who was a good friend to her. Mrs Patmore was the only person in the house that she confide with and therefore she was also the only other person who knew about the proposal. Good, stable job, nice atmosphere and security of a comforting home, all of these things were good enough reasons to convince herself to stay at the Abbey, instead of going back to a farmer's life which she knew well because of her younger years in Argyll. All these things were important, but deep in her heart she knew that the most important reason to refuse Joe's proposal was him, Charles Carson, the butler, her love.

She wasn't afraid to admit it to herself, and only to herself that she loved him. Truly. Deeply. Desperately. But she was also aware that this love could never be fulfilled. Or even reciprocated. In spite of the fact that they had been working together for so long, living in the same house, sharing all the hard work and all the happiness of every day life, in spite of the fact that they were exchanging glances, talking every day and every evening, Elsie was never sure how he felt about her. In some moments she was convinced that he feels something for her as well. But unfortunately all the more frequent of late and mostly due to his stern behavior, she thought that maybe she doesn't mean that much to him after all. Sometimes she felt like she was just a part of the home with which he felt at ease and keeping things the way they were was simply convenient for him. Charles Carson was not an easy man to read and she had a feeling that she might live out her days not knowing what he felt, or even if he felt anything at all.

At the same time Charles, sitting in his pantry, was grateful for his ability of hiding his true feelings from the world. Because if he couldn't do that, these last two days would have been really difficult for him. He knew what was going on here. Being the butler for so long he liked to be in control of everything, he needed to know whatever was going on under this roof. Always. So when he saw that Mrs. Hughes asked for an evening off, and saw how beautiful she looked going to the fair, for him she was always the most beautiful woman in the world, but that day she looked especially attractive, he began to wonder whether there wasn't some mystery man behind all heard Thomas's witty remarks, when the younger downstairs lot came back from the fair, about Mrs Hughes sparkling eyes and he found out what else had been said. He skillfully tricked Mrs Patmore into an innocent conversation, thinking rightly that she would probably be the only person who knew the truth. Fortunately for him he was not wrong. She knew the truth and told him about the proposal, not even slightly aware what pain in his lonely heart her words caused him. After all, he had loved Elsie for so long, but he knew that he couldn't do anything about it, because of the position they both held within the Abbey. All these long years he'd restrained himself from showing her how much she meant to him and now he had to face the horrible possibility of loosing her to another man. Ever since he found out about it, he could barely function. He hadn't slept at all for two nights straight, hardly ate anything and he was doing everything he could to avoid being alone with Elsie. He felt being in the state he was in, he might not be able to resist the temptation of confessing his love for her. And so two wounded souls, two hearts in love were wandering under the same roof, so close to each other and yet so far away from one and other.

Later in the evening.

Elsie was finishing her cup of tea, feeling exhausted after this difficult day of duties and struggling with her thoughts. This evening was particularly difficult, because the family had guests for dinner and there was a lot of confusion. So she took the liberty of finally being alone and left to her own thoughts. She knew that all the staff had gone to bed already and it was really nice to be able to enjoy a moment of silence for a change. She wondered why Mr. Carson hadn't come to her sitting room for their usual Sherry at night, either today or the night before. Was there something wrong with him? She sighed deeply, thinking that that was another problem she had to face. Maybe it was for the best to deal with that tomorrow, after she had caught up on at least few hours of sleep. She put her cup on the desk, turned out the lights and left her sitting room, closing the door behind her. She was heading towards the stairs when suddenly she heard some strange noises coming from Mr. Carson's pantry. Intrigued by those noises, she carefully moved closer to the door of his pantry. The door was opened very slightly and there was only a faint trace of light coming through it. Coming closer she recognized his voice, he was saying something, well, maybe not exactly saying it out loud, it was more like a mumble. She opened the door slowly, to check what was it about. When she entered, she saw him, sitting, with his head down, snuggled in the armchair. His palms were clenched into fists and all of a sudden it became quite clear for her that he was sleeping, probably having a nightmare. She was about to wake him, to spare him this painful experience when suddenly the words he mumbled caused her jaw to drop in amazement.

"Elsie...please don't go...don't leave me...I need you love...you are everything to me...I won't let him take you...That damn man...he is trying to take my angel from me...my sweet Elsie, my angel.. she is mine, I can't let him take her away...I love my angel…"

When Elsie heard and processed those words in her head, she leaned against the wall as if she wasn't able to stand on her own feet anymore. How could it be? So he loves her? He is afraid to loose her? Calls her his angel? All this hope in her for reciprocation of her feelings were now fulfilled. Her heart flooded with love and tenderness. This sweet old booby was in love with her, even though his position made it impossible for him to confess it to her openly, his dreams were the only part of his life he couldn't control and now, accidentally and unconsciously he opened his heart to her. She looked at him with soft and loving eyes as he was still moving uneasily in the armchair.

"Elsie..angel, love where are you? I can't find you…Elsie.."

She got closer to him, grabbed a blanket that was lying on the sofa and wrapped it around him, all of him, to prevent him from being cold. She leaned into him, kissed his forehead twice, very gently and stroked his cheek delicately.

"Sleep calmly Charles." She whispered very, very quietly. "Your angel is here, by your side and always will be".

She kissed him once again and noticed that he sighed deeply in his sleep and the torturous expression on his face was gone, substituted by a gentle smile. Elsie turned off the lamp and left his pantry, heading towards the stairs. She was sure of her decision now. There was no way that she would ever accepted Joe's proposal, being made aware that Charles loves her. Someday he will be ready to confess his true feelings to her and she will patiently wait for the day. Until then, they would still be the butler and the housekeeper and therefore colleagues. Officially. For the world. But deep in their hearts they both know that she was, is and always will be his angel.

**So that's my take for episode 4, of season 1. As usual I'm trying to seize every possible opportunity to get them closer. Fellowes made his money because he was able to keep them apart. I'm not able to do that so I won't make any money ;-) But I don't really care about it as long as you will be happy reading my silly stories. Traditional request-if you like it, please leave a review. They are always encouraging me to write another one. Thanks for all the support I got so far. It was unbelievable! Special thanks to gaygirlwinnifred for my BETA. She helped to correct all my English mistakes and made the story more readable.**


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